My Best Friend,
On May 21, 2003, a dear friend and soulmate of mine passed away.
Cougar came into my life when I was 6 years old. When I was a little girl he would sleep in my bed every night. We would read stories together and drift off to sleep. He tolerated being dressed up in costumes and being made to dance around the room in my arms. He only demanded one thing in return and that was my love.
When I was 9, we moved to New Hampshire he got outside at our new home. I feared he would never come back. Much to my surprise, relief, and disgust he returned proudly carrying a dead mole. He was hooked to this new indoor/outdoor life and pushed his way out of window screens and doors to get outside. He loved to lie in the grass with me. We would sit on the lawn rubbing faces all afternoon. When the winter came he would fall into a depression. He would be angry and less affectionate and would hiss if I attempted to hold him when he wasn't in the right frame of mind. As the snow melted, his desire to go outside increased and soon Cougar and the birds were waking us up in the morning. There were times he would go away for a few days when I left for soccer camps or a friend's house, but the moment I got home and called his name he would come running out of the woods to my arms.
When I went away to college, it was hard for us both. Mom would call saying he hadn't been home for a week. I would cry and fear the worst. He always showed up. He used to make guest appearances in the neighbors' homes. One afternoon while Cougar casually licked his paw on the couch, we listened to a message on the answering machine from a neighbor screaming, "Cougar is upstairs under the bed! My dog is going crazy! Please come and get him!" He was also very talented in calculating just how far away he had to sit so that the neighbors' dogs' electric fences would keep him safe, leaving the dog salivating less than two feet away, Cougar, again, casually grooming himself. By the time I transferred to the University of New Hampshire for my sophomore year he had learned to deal with my absence a bit better. I was also able to come home more frequenty. The second I walked in the door he would be meowing for me to go and see him. I tried to have him live in my apartment up at school, but it didn't go over well. He bit every one of my roommates and refused to talk to me for a week, so I quickly brought him home.
Cougar always had his moods, but they were different from that of a simple grouchy cat. It was understandable and it gave him character, in a way it was human-like. He was jealous when I didn't give him the attention he wanted. I was his human and when I spent too much time with one of the Himalayans, he would let me know. Cougar forgave me quickly though, with a purr and a kiss on the forehead. I don't know a more affectionate cat than him.
Cougar was a Maine Coon cat, or at least part Maine Coon, and he had a horrendous coat, and after being stuck in a few rain storms here and there, he would come home with his oily coat full of matts large enough to be handles on his sides. In order to remove them, we would have to wear leather fire place gloves. He was notorious for putting up a fight.
Cougar was one of those pets that will never leave your memory or your thoughts. He is everywhere I go. He was such an integral part of my life that it's impossible for me to pick up and move on. There will never be such a remarkable animal.
Even in his death he was incredible. I was away in Canada when I got the emotional call from my mother call that he was going. I couldn't be home for 3 days. I had been anticipating it for weeks, it all started on Easter Sunday when I noticed he was very weak and dehydrated. We nursed him back to health temporarily, but it was obvious that his time was coming soon. He held on until I got home. I brought him out on the lawn and sat with him for hours. He didn't have enough strength to rub my face. But he purred quietly deep in his chest. I rubbed him and cried with him and told him I loved him and it was ok for him to let go. I was home. That night I slept on the floor with him. I woke up many times and he lay next to me breathing quietly. At around 4 a.m. I fell back asleep after checking on him again. I was holding his paw and I had this incredible dream. He had recovered again. He was sitting in our living room and he looked at me with those beautiful true pale green eyes and he was ok. He was healthy again, and something told me this was his final word. He was going to be ok. I woke up and watched him take a deep breath, move his paws slightly and then pass away very quietly. I kissed him and cried and told him I loved him and said my final goodbye. He has his strength back now and he is running. And someday we will meet again. But for now I have his memory and what he taught me and a picture of him in my mind that will never fade.
I love you Cougar, we will meet again. I will never forget you, thank you for being such an amazing part of my life. XOXO
